God and Sex
Some religious people seem to think not. Many of them are silent on sex, as if ignoring it will make it go away. Others refer to it only in the context of abortion or contraception. It’s my view that this aversion to the subject is one reason the sexual revolution that began in the 1990s – one of many over the past century – occurred without religion firing a shot, not even to defend its dogma.
But if God made us, albeit through an evolutionary process we don’t yet fully understand, he/she made every part of us, including our sexuality. So the first thing religion should teach about the subject is that sexuality is a normal, natural part of being human, and that goes for its biological and emotional components. If we should thank God for all he has given us, we should regularly thank him/her for our sexuality.
Practically, that means being positive about the subject and about our own sexuality. It means accepting our humanity and all the functions that go with it. It means refusing to think about sex as something dirty, or somehow unworthy of us. To the extent religion has promoted the idea that sex is beneath us, or that celibacy automatically makes you holier than others, it has done humanity a great disservice. The basic belief of most religious traditions, including Christianity, is that sexuality is among the many gifts for which we should be grateful, and we shouldn’t back off that belief.
Sex one of God's bad ideas?
Unfortunately, many religious people cling to a sort of popular religion that is disconnected from their tradition’s basic beliefs. That’s certainly true of Christianity, in whose name many believers have given the impression that sex was one of God’s few bad ideas.
Some people appear to place their faith in their “religion box,” where it can be safely kept until Sunday and not interfere with anything else in their lives. But sexuality cannot be outside the purview of faith. People of faith, and its seekers, need to see sexuality, like everything else, through the eyes of faith, and I believe there's an undeniable connection between a casual, sex-as-recreation attitude and loss of faith.
It's just too uncomfortable to be faith-ful and sexually "unfaithful" at the same time. Sexuality is such a powerful force - not just physically but emotionally - and the human need for intimacy so strong, you have to be really committed to remain faith-ful. Casually expressing your sexuality may be culturally acceptable, especially in today's “Sex and the City,” post-"Friends," and post-"Seinfeld" climate, but faith seems to diminish in reverse proportion to casual sex.
Why "friends" don't have sex
Seinfeld was among the TV series that gave a whole generation permission to have sex outside marriage, but Elaine, in an episode in which Jerry suggested they resume a sexual relationship, had an interesting insight. "You know what sex does to a friendship? It kills it."
Although some pundits would have us believe there’s no such thing as selflessness, fact is, friendship's selfless love is uneasy with casual sexual love. Agape, the Greek word, is sometimes used for friendship’s love for others. It's the same one used in Paul's famous first letter to the Corinthians, which begins, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love...."
On the one hand, we should be thankful for our sexuality and accept it as God's gift. God knows how powerful sex is, and how pervasive sexual attraction is, because that's how he/she made it, and he/she is nothing if not loving. On the other hand, we need to make sure our sexuality stays in the context of our faith, or our search for faith, never allowing it to separate us from the search for God's love. (You could say the same thing about material possessions or power.)
Sexual blunders and misconduct are obstacles in our search, but it's always good to keep them in perspective. Jesus spent much more time talking about our alienation from God, injustice, and man's inhumanity to man, and woman, than about sex, and he spent an awful lot of time talking about God’s willingness to forgive.
Obviously, there's a LOT more to be said on this subject, including more on how to accept your sexuality and be faithful at the same time, but it will have to wait for future blogs.
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TC
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