Emerging Adults and Togetherness

I’m reading a book called, “Souls in Transition: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults,” by sociologist Christian Smith. The research Smith has done is a mine of information about people aged 18-29. The findings, however, would not surprise most people.

“The features marking this stage (of life) are intense identity exploration, instability, a focus on self, feeling in limbo or in transition or in between, and a sense of possibilities, opportunities, and unparalleled hope,” says Smith. “These, of course, are also often accompanied…by large doses of transience, confusion, anxiety, self-obsession, melodrama, conflict, disappointment, and sometimes emotional devastation.”

One thing that occurs to me about this group is that, like the rest of us, they didn’t choose to be born and grow up when they did. Like every generation, they must take the good with the bad and make the best of the cards they are dealt.

While many in other generations may have found joy and fulfillment in a relationship with God and religion, many of today’s young people simply don’t get it. For a variety of reasons, it’s hard for them to embrace God or see the value in religion. For many, this has produced a sense of freedom, but also anxiety.   

Smith’s research describes six characteristics of emerging adults related to God and religion. Obviously, they are generalizations and don’t apply to all emerging adults.

·        They focus on individuality, personal relationships, independence and personal autonomy. Participation in religion interferes with “identity differentiation” from their parents.

·        They are accustomed to continual change, including instability in their home lives, jobs and finance. They have no problem in delaying marriage and child bearing.

·        They are optimistic and shun regrets. They are turned off by the gloominess of many religions.

·        They are tolerant and supportive of different kinds of people, lifestyles, faiths and no faiths. They perceive that choosing one religion disparages the choices of others and see religion as a “lifestyle choice.” Religion also interferes with “keeping your options open,” making it hard to commit.

·        They view themselves as the ultimate judges and arbiters of right and wrong, which they see as generally easy calls to make. They usually follow what feels right or wrong. They don’t embrace objective moral standards or ethics “experts.”

·        They see education as a way to reach the goal of a “good life,” and embrace consumerism. Social justice, volunteerism and giving to causes are not priorities.

They believe they can have little influence on public affairs.

Some of these characteristics, such as optimism and tolerance, are amenable to faith. Others are indifferent or hostile to it. In my view, a focus on individuality, the expectation of instability, the difficulty in committing, the rejection of objective moral standards and the embrace of consumerism make the Christian faith difficult to embrace.

Still, one area of Christianity that may be appealing to young people is the sense of belonging. Ok, so young people aren’t big joiners in the traditional sense. The Rotary Club or Lions Club can tell you how difficult it is to recruit young people.

But I believe emerging adults are more social than any generation I’ve seen. They have large numbers of friends, real-time and on-line. They like to exercise and eat together, and share their free time with others. They love to listen to music and watch musicians together at concerts. For them, what others are doing, watching, eating, playing is as important as ever.

Emerging adults are as loving, or more so, than people in the past. They aren’t afraid to say, “I love you.” No doubt about it, young people today feel a need for others, and Christianity, at least, is all about togetherness.

That may be a double-edged sword for many young people. According to the research, young people focus on individuality, but they’re very much into togetherness. I don’t find those incompatible, nor is it only in young people that you find both preferences in one person.

Christianity recognizes the importance of developing a “personal relationship” with God and promotes private prayer. However, no relationship with God, according to Christian tradition, is exclusive, and the Christian Bible is big on the notion that we’re all in this together. That’s why you can’t be a Christian and not care about others or the human community.

It can’t be about Jesus and me. Jesus’ most famous prayer is “OUR Father.” The Christian community – the Body of Christ, the People of God – is a family, not a club or organization. And like all families, it’s about relationships, to God and others. The religious family may be dysfunctional; it may include those “weird uncles” who are jerks and creeps; but it’s still family. If you have a good family, you know how important it is. If you don’t, maybe you should try a Christian community.