Religion a Lifestyle Choice?

Among the 100 top viral blogs of 2013 is one that included this observation: “Religion is belief in someone else’s experience. Spirituality is having your own experience.”

To me, the sense of the passage is that religion involves others – presumably old or dead churchmen from previous ages – imposing their versions of religious experience on us, making it impossible for that experience to be our own. Spirituality, on the other hand, is something each person fashions for him/herself.

The idea would resonate with many young people. According to the Christian Smith study I’ve mentioned before in several blogs, young adults “focus on individuality, personal relationships, independence and personal autonomy. Participation in religion interferes with ‘identity differentiation’ from their parents.”

Many people are looking for something new, something that breaks with the religious practices of older generations. And no question, independence and individuality are worthy of pursuit. They are said to be particularly American characteristics and account for much of the progress the U.S. has achieved. 

So, the quoted viral blog has a nice ring to it, but is it true? I don’t think so. Religion – at least, Christianity – and Christian spirituality are wired together. That may be one area in which Christianity doesn’t fit well with American individualism.” Despite how evangelical religions may sing it, Christian spirituality is not about “Jesus and me.”

Also, religion as “someone else’s experience” cannot mean that it can be imposed, though history is full of examples in which such imposition has been attempted.

Like physical traits such as eye color or body shape, the fact that the faith is “inherited” from parents and grandparents does not mean it is not one’s own. Unlike such traits, of course, people at some point have to decide whether to accept or reject the faith of their parents and grandparents.

For many today, participation in a religion is seen as a lifestyle choice, like preferring an SUV to a sedan, being a pet owner or not, or living in the suburbs rather than the city. Sorry if I’ve repeated this so often in this blog, but faith/religion is a relationship, not a lifestyle choice.

Smith’s study also reveals that young adults see choosing one religion over another as discrediting the religious choices of others. That means that if you choose to be a Catholic, you are disparaging those who choose to be Lutherans or evangelicals. It’s like saying that if you choose Nike you’re disparaging those who choose Adidas.

And does it mean that only the faith of those who “start from scratch” - who have no religious observance in their backgrounds – is genuine? 

Faith is, indeed, personal. You have to make a commitment to it yourself, no matter its source. But it’s also communal. If you choose Christianity (other faiths, like Buddhism, have their own unique recognition of everyone’s and everything’s connectedness), you’re not just an individual. You’re part of a body, a community of the faithful.   

Then there’s the commitment

All this is theoretical if your problem with religion is that it requires commitment – commitment of the heart, then of time and effort. You have to ask yourself if you have what it takes to adopt a religion: If necessary, you may have to get up in the morning to go to services; you may have to set aside time to pray; you may have to volunteer to visit those old people in the nursing home; you may have to re-think some moral issues that you would rather not explore.

I’m not a fan of going to church because someone expects it of you or because you want to make an impression (and there still are people you can impress by going to church). In this sense, adopting a religion may be similar to committing yourself to work out regularly. It just won’t happen if you’re not really motivated.

No, in my view the idea that religion comes from “without” and spirituality from “within,” as suggested in the blog that went viral, is off the mark. Religion is all about spirituality; and spirituality without religion can be an exercise in self-absorption that requires no responsibility for others.

If religion is just another lifestyle choice, it can’t be worth much, and seeing it that way may be one reason why it has so little appeal to young adults.