Seizing An Illusive Prize
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The scene is after Jesus’
unbelievably cruel crucifixion and incredible resurrection as described in the
Gospel of John. Jesus’ disciples are gathered in a rented or borrowed room,
locked “for fear of the Jews.” They had reason to lock the door because the
disciples were, after all, close associates of this rabble rouser who
challenged the Jewish authorities. They had said he claimed to be a King,
making him an enemy to the Romans who occupied and ruled Israel.
The disciples were guilty
by association. They undoubtedly also felt a great deal of guilt because they
all abandoned Jesus when the going got tough. And they felt shame for having
done so. When it comes to those feelings, I think we can relate.
Here’s how the gospel
describes the scene, according to The Message translation.
“Later on that day, the
disciples had gathered together, but, fearful of the Jews, had locked all the
doors in the house. Jesus entered, stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.”
Then he showed them his hands and side.
They were exuberant
“The disciples, seeing
the master with their own eyes, were exuberant. Jesus repeated his greeting:
“Peace to you. Just as the Father sent me, I send you.’
“… But Thomas, sometimes
called the Twin, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The
other disciples told him, ‘We saw the master.’ But he said, ‘Unless I see the
nail holes in his hands, put my finger in the nail holes, and stick my hand in
his side, I won’t believe it.’
“Eight days later, his
disciples were again in the room. This time Thomas was with them. Jesus came
through locked doors, stood among them, and said ‘Peace to you.’ “Then he
focused on Thomas. ‘Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and
stick it in my side. Don’t be unbelieving. Believe.’
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“Thomas said, ‘My master!
My God!’ “Jesus said, ‘So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes.
Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.”
Cooped-up in that room
and rendered immobile, the disciples must have felt enormous relief at Jesus’
appearance. They were freed from fear, that most powerful of emotional
paralysis. Not only can fear cause, and be the result of, emotional distress,
it can be a great barrier in the search for God.
Aren’t we all like those
disciples, gathered in one room feeling fear, guilt, doubt and shame? It may
not be the same fear, guilt, doubt and shame they felt. We all have our own
reasons for these feelings.
Some of our reasons for guilt
are unspecified. Some of us may feel guilt because we’re guilty of something,
of course, but much of the time, guilt is an irrational misinterpretation of
events, feelings or people.
As for doubt, it may be
about God. Many, if not most, of us have had that kind of doubt, being
unwilling to accept uncertainty and not knowing how to deal with it. But it could
also be a matter of doubting ourselves, resulting in failure to live up to our
expectations. Or doubt of others, including family members and friends.
Conscience operating properly
Shame is another matter.
We usually have good reason for that feeling, having offended God or each
other. In my view, shame is a sign that our conscience is operating properly.
How does Jesus respond to
all these feelings?
“Peace.”
I believe this word as
Jesus used it doesn’t simply mean the absence of fear or conflict; rather, it
sums up Jesus’ message about who we are and who we could be. Perhaps it is best
expressed in the Letter to the Romans in the Christian Bible: “”…But those who
live according to the Spirit set their minds on things of the Spirit…. To set
the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”
In other words, peace is found
when God is found, proportionally by those who sincerely seek him/her.
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