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Even with 20 years of formal Catholic
education, I’ve struggled with faith most of my adult life. Does God exist? Was
Jesus really God? Am I fooling myself about God, Jesus, life after death?
I know I’m not alone. I suspect the vast
majority of people of faith have similar doubts. But doubt doesn’t
constitute an absence of faith. Everyone has a different way of approaching
this problem. Here are my thoughts on the matter of faith and doubt.
First, I believe that faith isn’t just a
question of the mind. We probably make most of our decisions - even the most
important one, like the question of belief - based on emotion or a mix of
emotion and reason. And that mix makes me and millions of others come down on
the side of faith.
Accepting Uncertainty
Secondly, faith means accepting uncertainty,
which doesn’t seem a problem in other aspects of our lives. Uncertainty is as
pervasive as air. People we were certain were loyal friends turn out not to be.
Before Einstein, Newton’s physics were certain. Almost daily revelations show
we can never be certain about the effectiveness and safety of medications.
Third, faith is incremental. Jesus
acknowledged as much when he used the analogy of the mustard seed. We need to
act on whatever “amount” of faith we have and be grateful for it.
So if we have some degree of faith – if only
the size of a mustard seed, which is no larger than the period at the end of
the next sentence – how do we keep it and grow it? The point of Jesus’
analogy, I believe, is that even a minimal amount of faith is enough to believe
that “anything is possible.”
Prayer, it seems to me, is the best start. If
we believe in God, even with doubt, we should ask him/her to help us believe.
And prayer, wrote the great mystic Teresa of Avila, “is nothing but friendly
intercourse, and frequent converse, with him who we know loves us.”
Those in the Judeo-Christian tradition should
read the Bible. Christians could start with something easy, like the Acts of
the Apostles and graduate to the gospels and the letters of Paul. In the Hebrew
Bible, Genesis, at least the early chapters, is also relatively easy to read.
Besides that, we should look for what will
support our faith: articles, books, movies, TV shows, plays, conversations,
friends. God knows there is plenty to influence us in the opposite direction.
Research has shown that many Christians, at
least, depend on the knowledge of their faith they learned in elementary
school. The rest of their knowledge may have grown exponentially but their
faith is stuck in the rudiments, with a child’s understanding in an age when an
adult’s understanding is needed like never before.
That’s not to say that believers need a
formal education. Neither the prophets nor Jesus mentioned having an academic
degree, but in an age when knowledge in every other aspect of our lives is
exploding, having a child’s grasp of our faith is an obstacle, for us and those
with whom we come into contact.
Insight
Fr. Herbert McCabe, an English theologian and
philosopher who died in 2001, has some insight on the subject of faith.
“Faith,” he wrote, “is about what is beyond
the horizon of the humanly possible. Faith is exploring into what people could
never achieve by themselves. Faith is the mysterious need in us to get to where
we could surely never go.
“Faith, in fact, is about what we call God.
Faith is the inkling that we are meant to be divine, that our journey will go
beyond any horizon at all into the limitlessness of the Godhead. Faith is not
our power to set out on this journey into the future. It is our future laying
hold on us. …Faith is not something we possess. It is something by which we are
possessed.”
I still ask myself all those doubting
questions mentioned at the start of this blog, but not as frequently as before.
And I can attest that faith does indeed bring peace and joy.
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