Resilience and the Search for God, Part II

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A few years ago, Eilene Zimmerman decided she wanted to help her estranged husband who obviously needed it. But she was shocked when she went to his home and found him dead on his bathroom floor. The cause: A hidden intravenous drug addiction.

“It was, without question, the most traumatic event of my life,” Zimmerman wrote in a recent article in the New York Times. “I had two teenage children at the time,” and she had taken them with her.

“It turns out that awful time in my life was good training for a pandemic, for political and social upheaval, for economic and financial uncertainty. The experience taught me that I never really know what’s going to happen next. I plan as best I can, but now I’m far more able to pivot my thinking. I have the capacity to cope with more of life’s unexpected slings and arrows, to accept the difficulties I face and keep going, even though it can be hard.”

A Difficult Quality

How we manage crises, traumatic events or unexpected hard times depends on our resilience, a difficult quality even in the best of times but especially when we have a hard time finding God in the midst of apparent disorder.

Resilience, as I’ve written in a previous blog, has a lot to do with our search for God. If our lives are anchored in faith, we’re more likely to be resilient. And in my opinion, the more we’re committed to our faith, the greater our resilience.

Eilene Zimmerman
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In considering such a subject, of course, you have to be careful not to be judgmental, not knowing a person’s situation or mental health. People who study the matter, however, say that generally, how we cope depends on what is in our resilience “toolbox.”

“For some people, like my ex-husband,” writes Zimmerman, “the toolbox is filled with drugs. For others it can be drinking, overeating, gambling, shopping. But these don’t promote resilience.

“Instead,” she writes, “the tools common to resilient people are optimism (that is also realistic), a moral compass, religious or spiritual beliefs, cognitive and emotional flexibility, and social connectedness. The most resilient among us are people who generally don’t dwell on the negative, who look for opportunities that might exist even in the darkest times.

“Research has shown that dedication to a worthy cause or a belief in something greater than oneself — religiously or spiritually — has a resilience-enhancing effect, as does the ability to be flexible in your thinking.”

Religion today has a bad name. For many, it means rigid adherence to what they believe are outmoded beliefs or moral positions. Many believe religious people are more hypocritical and judgmental than others. Many distrust the clergy, especially the Catholic clergy, because of the horrible abuse by some clergymen of children and youths.

Really Good Enough?

All of those concerns are understandable. But are they really good enough to reject religion, which over thousands of years have helped people connect with the transcendent?

All of us are, to use a churchy word for which it’s hard to find a substitute, “sinners.” That includes clergy, hypocrites, people who are judgmental and rigid in their views and people who are indifferent or hostile to God and religion and virtually everyone who’s searching for God. And that’s exactly why we need religion.

In my view, many people today prefer the bright, shiny, penny of contemporary religious indifference to the old, crumbled and dirty $100 bill that is religion. With all its faults and perceived obsolescence, religion is humankind’s best chance for survival and moral growth.

In returning to God and religion, what do we have to lose? Only the cost of commitment. What do we have to gain? The exhilarating joy, and resilience, that comes with a faith that continually challenges us to see beyond the past, present and how we imagine the future, and connect with the author of life.