Five Ways to Ban Negative Thoughts

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Years ago, I was at a party where an acquaintance, when asked his profession, said with a straight face that he was “an economist.” He never worked in that field. He had an undergraduate degree in economics.

My credentials as a psychologist or sociologist are even flimsier, but I’m interested in what makes people happy or not. And when I say “happy,” I’m not talking about how you feel right now, or even how you feel today or this week. I’m talking about an inner joy, an optimism about life that some people have and others don’t. Happy people make people around them happier, of course, and unhappy people do the opposite.

This subject is important when discussing faith because although I believe joy results from faith (and this may be reflected in the many studies showing that people of faith are happier), being optimistic and upbeat also help searchers find God, and him/her to find us. Finding God by looking into ourselves and by seeing him/her in others, as spiritual writers recommend, is tough for people who are down on themselves and others.  

Even people who are happy at their core, however, have their bad moments – and weeks and even years. Human beings are hounded by negativity demons. We get down, blue, depressed, sometimes for no apparent reason. And sometimes we dwell on negative thoughts.

They might include grudges from years ago; current problems with relationships; deaths, divorces, split-ups and job losses; financial problems; religious or political differences; competition at work or even worrisome cultural, national or world events.

Are people today more or less happy than in previous ages? Hard to tell, because it wouldn’t have occurred to people in previous ages to ask about happiness. Certainly human beings, even in the poorest countries, are better off materially. But are our lives more meaningful, and isn’t it a sense of meaning that makes us happy? Without a sense of purpose, said the famous poet and philosopher, Henry David Thoreau, many people live “lives of quiet desperation.”

In an America magazine article, Thomas Bushlack, who teaches theology in Minnesota, wrote that modern society has a “spiritual disease” that manifests itself mostly in “excessive busyness – the pursuit of activity, success, achievement, possessiveness – anything to justify my existence in the face of apparent meaninglessness and to keep me distracted from the creeping sense of despair that underlies day-to-day existence.” 

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Ok, it may not be that bad for most of us. It is ironic, however, that for cultural and superficial reasons, many people ignore what for me are the obvious sources of meaning: God, and religion, which has innumerable resources to help us search for him/her and make life meaningful.

I know, this may sound a bit like a pitch from the famed “snake-oil” salesman. They were people who in the previous couple of centuries traveled around the western U.S. promoting a product made from the Chinese Water Snake (according to Wikipedia), which they said could cure just about anything.

The difference between that and the search for God, of course, is that unlike snake oil, which you applied anywhere on the body in hopes it would do its magic, the search for God requires the use of your mind and heart, as well as the acceptance of uncertainty. The search for God is not magical. You need to be open, thoughtful, courageous and as mentioned in a recent previous blog, patient.

But back to those negative thoughts, keeping in mind the old saw that you get what you pay for. Here are some ways to deal with them that usually work for me.

1.    Insist on being rational. It may be the last thing you want to be when you really want to mope or even cry. Serious negativity often follows something, big or small, that is bothering us. But almost always, we give problems more importance than they deserve, and nearly all negativity is caused by irrational thoughts – fear, pent-up anger, jealousy, exaggerated expectations. Analyze why you feel the way you do. Just doing that often helps.

2.    “Change your mind” by thinking about something that’s fun or pleasurable, replacing the negative thought with something positive.

3.    Do something physical, like physical work or a workout. It almost always helps.

4.    Think about how well you have it, or how much you have compared to most people in the world. Tragedy is the constant companion of many people here and around the world, and by comparison, most of our lives are a walk in the park.

5.    Pray. Ok, so this may not be easy for skeptics. But I’m not talking about traditional, formal prayers like the “Our Father” (although it’s a great prayer for believers). I’m talking about sitting quietly by yourself, banning distractions, and conversing with God. You can tell him/her about what’s troubling you and ask for help. Praying often may seem like talking to yourself, but just try it.

Obviously, you can’t wish away negative thoughts. But you can get into the habit of using these and other methods to keep them to a minimum and lessening the harm caused by the ones that slip through. Doing so will help in the search for God.