Finding Your Calm
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| Google Image |
(As I’ve
mentioned before in these blogs, secularism is not necessarily a bad thing. It
does, however, fail to provide the social support for belief that was present
in earlier ages.)
Of all
these obstacles – and there are undoubtedly many more I haven’t included –
busyness is perhaps the most pernicious in its subtlety. In our culture,
busyness may seem inevitable, even normal. However, it impedes the search for
God on at least two levels: it leaves us with little time to pursue belief, and
it robs us of the calm and thoughtfulness necessary to do so.
Why Are You Afraid?
James
Martin, S.J., in his book, “Jesus, A Pilgrimage,” uses the gospel story of the
calming of the storm to illustrate the problem. As you may recall the story, Jesus
and his disciples embark on a boat on the Sea of Galilee when a violent storm
erupts and the disciples fear for their lives.
According
to the gospel of Mark, Jesus “was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they
woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’
Jesus
calms the sea and asks his disciples, “Why are you afraid? Have you still no
faith?”
Then, besides
counseling against fear, Martin writes, Jesus offers what is desperately needed
today: calm.
“The
more I listen to people,” writes Martin, a long-time spiritual counselor, “the
more I hear them speak about their lives using the same words: overworked,
overbooked, overwhelmed, stressed-out, crazy-busy, nuts, insane.
‘I have
no time for my family. I have no time to pray. I barely have time to think.’”
One of the problems, he writes, is that “… our culture has impressed upon us
the equation that the busier you are, the more important you are.”
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| James Martin, SJ Google Image |
Handling Busyness
There
are practical ways of handling busyness, of course, and the most obvious is doing
an activity inventory followed by a culling of schedules. What is really necessary
or helpful for my life? What is most important? (It’s obvious that when we say
we “have no time” for God and religion, it actually means that it’s not
important for us. If that’s the case, we should admit that to ourselves.) If an
activity isn’t necessary or important, shouldn’t we consider not doing it?
We may
do a lot of things out of a sense of obligation, responding to requests by
bosses, colleagues, family members and friends. But do you have to make these
people happy at the expense of your calm? I don’t think so.
Apart
from the practical, there are “spiritual” implications to busyness.
A
popular American magazine had a recent article on finding your calm, and quoted
a successful businesswoman.
“When I
wake up,” she said, “I don’t look first at my smart phone. Instead, I take a
minute to breathe deeply, be grateful and set my intention for the day.”
More Is Needed
Good idea
to give yourself enough time in a busy day to be thoughtful, but for people
searching for God, something more is needed, in my opinion, and that’s prayer.
We’ve
covered this subject several times in these blogs, and I understand that people
who are searching for God may have grave doubts about God’s existence, let
alone whether God is interested in us or our prayers. So what’s new? Don’t you
ever speak to your spouse, boss, employee, friend or kids when you doubt that
they’re interested or listening?
Last
year, I was doing what many husbands do a lot: waiting for my wife while she
shops. I was sitting in what I call a “husband chair” in the dress section of
an upscale department store in another city watching a young clerk greeting and
helping customers. It was shortly after the store’s opening in the morning and
I was thinking about how hard it must be to be for a clerk to smile, greet
people and accommodate them when you may not have had enough sleep, have a bit
of a hangover or are just not in the mood.
I
noticed that this particular clerk was helpful and pleasant without being
pushy. When she was free, I asked her how she does it.
The
answer, in short, was that she does it just by doing it. Although she may feel
“bummed” at the start of her shift, after a short time actually dealing with
people, it usually came naturally. She liked people, she said, and after
exchanges with them, she was usually eager to help.
Just Do It
That
“Just Do It” idea, made famous by Nike, works in the pursuit of faith as well.
Have doubts? Express them to God. Feel ridiculous? Some of the most important
things we do in life, like falling in love with the most unlikely person, are
ridiculous. Feel that you’re being anti-intellectual or anti-science? How much
of your daily life – including your interactions with loved ones – are based on
intellectualism or science?
Faith is
a relationship, with God and others, and you have to pursue and nourish
relationships.
Busyness,
and lack of calm, is an obstacle in the search for God, but the pursuit itself
brings calm, and all its other rewards make the pursuit worth it.
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