What It’s Like to be Us
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That all changed for our family, and I believe for many families,
in the 80s or 90s. I can’t recall exactly when but we became much more willing
to express our love verbally and physically. Among my siblings, it became
common – even among the men – to hug on arrival or departure from a family
gathering and to end telephone conversations with, “Love you,” something that
would have been unheard of even 10 years earlier.
I don’t know what brought about the change. We may have become more
aware of our bonds and their fragility. And maybe we began to think that we
would later regret not taking the opportunity to tell and show people we loved
them when we had the chance.
One reason for our previous timidity, I think, was an aversion to
sentimentality, an embarrassing human trait. We thought words and physical
expression were unnecessary, and, of course, they are. But human love is so
much poorer without them.
And that brings me to our idea of God. The Hebrew Bible depicts a
God who loves and feels compassion, gets angry, is jealous and who wants people
to fear him. But those are human projections. We know God only through metaphors, so our idea of God is actually abstract, and it’s hard to have a relationship with
an abstraction. If abstractions are all we’re left with, there’s not much
reward in searching for God.
An impersonal, higher force
That may partially explain the difficulty people in the western
world have with belief. An article in America Magazine in March cited
statistics among Catholics in the Netherlands – a traditionally Catholic
country that has had a steep decline in church attendance – showing that God is
understood “to be an impersonal, higher force. According to the latest numbers
in the research project ‘God in Nederland (1966-present),’ 55 percent of
Catholics fall into this category.”
You always have to be skeptical about such surveys, of course.
Couldn’t the same people who say that God is “an abstraction” also believe that
they have a relationship with him/her?
But as our family learned, we humans need more than an idea as
the object of our love, which is a principal mandate of many religions,
especially Christianity. The gospels as well as the writings of Paul and those
who wrote in his name make clear the mandate to love, just as the current political,
social and cultural climate make it more difficult.
In much of our common public lives, you’re led to believe that what’s most important is what you, or your group, want - the antithesis to a loving spirit. Indeed, we are most concerned about self-fulfillment, personal freedom and our rights as individuals, and that is promoted by much of what we read and see.
“Get rid of the pain and live the life you deserve,” urges a TV
ad for an arthritis medicine. “Play more, be happy,” prompts an ad for a
casino. Don’t have “the fear of missing out on the home of your dreams,”
entreats another for a real estate company.
Loving God and neighbor – priorities for the Judeo-Christian tradition
– sounds poetic and is sometimes even enticing, but to many they are empty words, no
match for our wants. An overriding sense of entitlement often keeps us from
breaking out of ourselves to serve others, and that’s combined with the view of
a God who can’t really relate to us, who doesn’t know what it’s like to have
unfulfilled needs and wants. William O'Malley Google Image |
Christians, however, have a God who knows what it’s like to be us
– knowing the need for, and the barriers to love. That’s the gist of a recent
article by William O’Malley in the National Catholic Reporter in which O’Malley
cites a passage from the gospel of Mark about Jesus and a leper. O’Malley, by
the way, is a professor of theology at Seattle University but is best known for
his portrayal of Fr. Dyer in The Exorcist.
“A leper came to him and begged him on his knees, ‘If you choose,
you can make me clean.’ Moved with compassion, Jesus touched him, and said to
him, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’”
Because Christians believe that Jesus is God, they believe that
God feels compassion and can physically touch. Before Jesus, O’Malley writes,
“God could not feel. Even if God knew everything, being non-material, he
couldn’t feel anything. Since he had no bodily organs, God couldn’t actually
experience that tightening of the gut, that helpless ache in the chest, that
bewilderment no other species but humans can feel.”
Ironically, we humans, who do have those experiences, often
resist them. Expressing our love may be more common among family members today,
but breaking out of our routines and touching others – especially those on the
margins of society – is still hard for us.
Understanding that God knows what it’s like to be us should make
a big difference. We can show how we’re made in God’s image and likeness by reaching
out to others in word and touch just as our God did 2,000 years ago and as he/she does today through others.
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